The following is a public service announcement from LotsofSecrets.

Ladies! Having a tough time with the 9.4% unemployment rate? Looking for a way to make a quick buck? Dallas needs you! According to local strip club owners, the Dallas-Fort Worth area is about 10,000 strippers short for the upcoming Super Bowl this Sunday.

One Dallas club, the Showtime Cabaret, has put out a frenzy of advertising over the last week for 70 additional girls, nearly doubling their normal capacity. The ideal ratio is 30:1 tourists-to-strippers, andstrip clubs are feeling the pinch to fill their quota as rabid Packers and Steelers fans pour in and need to blow off steam. Not to mention the players; after arriving on Sunday, Steelers players Hines Ward and Ike Taylor have already been hitting up the rippers and making it rain.

So run, don’t walk, to the nearest bus terminal/train station/airport, and book your tickets to Dallas ASAP. The Super Bowl needs you. Shit, America needs you! Don’t let your country down! Get your sexy ass to Texas and show it off!